Dear Secularists,

It’s me, Felicity….you know..…..that unseen spirit that you want to be free to ignore? That’s me.

Don’t worry, I understand. I don’t want to force you to talk to me or admit that I’m real either. That’s not how I am. I don’t want to force anyone I love to do anything, so I’m not going to hold it against you if you choose to ignore me because you are free to think whatever you want and that’s exactly how I want it to be…

It’s just that I wanted to write you this letter because I’ve been wondering if you could at least perhaps maybe admit that it’s possible for you to be hurting my feelings by ignoring me? You know…just in case I exist?

Relax, I’m not saying that I do, I’m just saying that if I did just so happen to exist, have you ever considered the fact that you might be, oh I don’t know…WRONG for ignoring me?

I know, I know, I know.

I said it.

I shouldn’t have said it, but I said it, so I need you to hear me out before you start getting offended because I am not trying to accuse you of being wrong……

……I’m trying to tell you that you are………….

…………….as gently as possible……

………….which is different.

That’s it.

I’m just trying to do you a favor.

It’s like when toilet paper is stuck to your shoe type of thing. I don’t want to come right out and say it because it can be a little embarrassing, but I do want to help you get your mind thinking in the right direction so you can realize it for yourself before anyone else notices.

I’m like a good friend who’s just looking out for you and your shoe…that’s all.

Now I know that some of you might think that it’s impossible for you to have toilet paper stuck to your shoe because you’re agnostic but you can’t argue with the fact that everybody has to go to the bathroom so….. I don’t know. You either do or you don’t, and I just thought you should check…since it’s quite possible that you do.

It’s possible…..

……..for you to be wrong……

….about me……..

……..That’s all I’m trying to say…..

And that’s not to say that I think I should impose a belief in myself on any of you.

I don’t even think it’s possible for me to do that because I don’t even believe in myself! I’m just myself and I’m writing a letter to you…..there’s nothing you need to believe about that because it’s just what I’m doing.

That’s why there are words in front of your face right now.

And you don’t even have to read them if you don’t want to….

…nobody is forcing you…

…..it’s just that you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe…

….and I wanted to tell you.

Your Friend,

Felicity